Pad Thai-mes

The subject of this blog post is our new favourite pun (that's right, we're still "pundering" everywhere we go...). That, and shouting "Angkor WHAT?!" at each other at regular intervals, is powering us through when we are at our most tired.

And man, are we tired. So little sleep recently, and the prospect of so little sleep to come, is killing us. But it's worth it, because Cambodia is just utterly sensational.

Let me backpedal. On our morning in Thailand, we rinsed the hotel facilities (massive breakfast, gym, bird sanctuary, stealing all the free stuff) and then caught our plane to Phnom Phen at around 4pm. We arrived, checked into a really lovely, friendly guesthouse, and pretty much collapsed after a bowl of noodles.

The next morning was the scene of what I think will be one of the defining moments of my life. I'm not sure how to describe it. In a massive rush and not having had time for breakfast, we set off for S-21 prison (a central part of the Khmer Rouge regime - the place where people were tortured for confessions before being sent to the Killing Fields. Only 7 people survived out of tens of thousands who were sent there, including children. And the guards were principally indoctrinated child soldiers) armed with the history section of our rough guide and essentially a loose intellectual understanding of what had happened there, but no real comprehension of what that actually meant.

What a place. I'm not sure if I believe in auras or ghosts or any of that stuff, who knows, but Jesus, I've never felt evil like the evil that surrounds S-21, it's a malevolence so suffocating that I actually found it a little difficult to breathe in there. I can't describe it, but I was reluctant enough to be there in the daytime, let alone if it got dark - I would be out of there so fast, honestly. The horror and the fear that is still palpable in the air is only enhanced by the fact that they haven't cleaned or done anything to the place since the Khmer Rouge abandoned it. The bloodstains are still on the walls and floor. When they abandoned the prison, the guards slaughtered the last fourteen prisoners, and their corpses were found, starved and brutally tortured, still in their cells. These fourteen people were so mutilated they were unidentifiable, but their bodies are buried next to the cells where they were murdered. No wonder evil haunts this place - I'd like to see Most Haunted get hold of S-21, ha. The cells themselves are claustrophobic and traumatic and hideous. They contain a wire bed, a box for excrement and occasionally machines for torture. In the case of the fourteen cells the dead prisoners were found in, they also contain a large photo of the corpse in the state it was discovered. Standing in the cell that person died in, seeing that photo - put it this way, we were beginning not only to understand intellectually but to really, truly comprehend.

The museum exhibition is a collection of photographs essentially. Every prisoner that was killed by the Khmer Rouge who was tortured at S-21 is photographed, and you walk along walls and walls of these photographs, looking into these people's eyes and seeing the fear, the defiance, the anguish that they felt, because they must have known exactly what was going to happen to them. Whole families were killed, the logic being why spare children when they might grow up and take revenge? Babies were smashed against trees. Horrifically, S-21 was a highschool before the Khmer Rouge began to use it as a prison. What used to be the exercise bars became a gallows used for the purposes of torture. Other forms of torture included having finger or toenails removed, starvation and being constantly kicked in the middle of the night whenever the prisoner fell asleep. The methods are so primitive and yet fear is obviously an incredibly primitive emotion, which explains their success. The sheer pointless visciousness of the place, the brutality, really did a number on me to be honest, and it's not like I am blind to this kind of thing, because as well as being well-read and interested in history, I have visited concentration camps and other places of horror. So I'm not uninitiated, but this was something different entirely. S-21 will stay with me for the rest of my life, and will haunt my nightmares for a very long time indeed.

We then headed to the Killing Fields, which are about twenty minutes out of Phnom Phen. There is a monument that holds the skulls, bones and clothes of the people who died there in order to remember and honour them. There's also a museum which details the crimes perpetrated against them, the perpetrators themselves and what happens to them (the outcomes of their UN trials, if they didn't die first) and other information about the brutality of the Khmer Rouge regime (how all urbanites were forcefully relocated to the countryside to do manual labour, etc.). It was shocking, no doubt about it, but there was actually a peverse and pensieve beauty and sense of hope about the Killing Fields in comparison to the pure evil that was S-21. There was beautiful grass, and a duck with her ducklings, and everyone was walking around in contemplation and remembrance (apart from one Linsay Lohan-a-like who was asking her friend if her legs looked big in her shorts - there's always one...) and yes it was tragic, of course it was, but there was hope and remembrance and respect. It was, all in all, far less traumatising and harrowing than S-21 but no less meaningful for it, I think.

After a pretty intense morning, we had a pretty chilled afternoon. I mended my leggings, a top and a dress, and as I was doing so realised how lucky I am to be able to sew well, so I don't have to keep buying new things, I can mend the stuff I've got. (I mended my trusty Topshop ballet flats the other day which was excellent) We had an evening out on the lash in Phnom Phen, involving many a cocktail and clapping games with street children, which was really excellent. I dealt with my shakiness after the morning's activities in a typically productive manner - watermelon martinis.

We basically had a planning day the next day which was much-needed and our itineraries for Cambodia, Vietnam and Thailand are now sorted. We had a wander down by the riverside and a late dinner, and the next day we got on our bus to Siem Reap.

We had a pretty comfortable bus journey and a relatively comfortable night (a cockroach and a room that shook whenever we moved made things a little more exciting). Continuing my long(ish) tradition of being unable to sleep before we do anything important or see any traditional monuments, I had an utterly sleepless night, but we headed off around the city today anyway. We got a day pass to the temples of Angkor Wot (obviously, whenever it is in any way relevant or indeed whenever it is completely irrelevant, we have started to shout "Angkor WHAT?!" really loudly at each other). Wandering round in the sunshine looking at these formiddable pieces of architecture, pretty much iridescent in the midday heat, my one overriding thought was "God, I soo hope I get a tan" - but in my defence I was very tired indeed. We climed up to a temple to watch the sunset and ended up making puns containing the word 'hill' or 'step' to get us through - see my facebook status for further details on that one. 'Hill-arious' was a particular favourite, as well as 'Ít's all downhill from here'(it wasn't, it was uphill, but that's not the point).

And now we are heading out after doing a bit of pre-drinking to a bar, hill-ariously called 'Angkor What?' so that should suit us just fine. Tomorrow we have a criminally early bus to Kampong Cham and are then on the move pretty solidly for a while into quite remote areas in the North, but I will update as and when I can.

Miss you all, very much indeed. Loads of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx